fail

If you ever want to feel intellectually superior to someone (me, specifically), just keep in mind the following phone exchange:

Me, answering phone: "(Company Name)"

Caller: "Hi, may I speak to Lisa?"

Me: "This is she."

Me: "Wait..."

Me: "I mean --

Me: "Hold please, I'll get her."

Yep.

a peek into...

my OCD, ADD mind, before work yesterday morning. (Yes, this really happened, and yes, I'm really insane enough to remember it all and to write it all down. I had to wait a day to post it because it was making me nauseous to look at it.)

(drying hair) i need to remember to take that meat out of the freezer, did B empty the lint catcher in the dryer?, i need to repaint my toenails, god that baseboard is dirty, don't forget to grab that CD, shinyhead, hahaaa, speaking of sineads what ever happened to sinead lohan, dammit these gray hairs just don't stay colored very long, what should i rate that movie, 3 or 3.5, i think 3.5, what jobs do i have coming in today, i have to get at least those 2 out, who am i gonna get to cover that damn job, it's more of a 3 really but i did like the performances so yeah i'll do 3.5, ack i'm already late, i wish i could just go back to bed, (outside to refill puff's water), why is he lying in THAT spot, he never lies right there, i hope nothing is wrong, (petting kitty) "bye sweetie, dang you are shedding like crazy, i'll see you tonight i have to go, oh you are *so* adorable, really, i have to go, i'm already running late", (to squirrel) "oh shut up this is MY yard i have a right to be here you know", oh yeah i need to water that plant, "ok bye baby, for real", ewww dead cricket, at least it's not a roach, (back inside) god i need to sweep this floor, oops toaster is still plugged in, i have GOT to start walking again, ok - no candy today at work, i'll just eat what i bring nothing extra, hahaha yeah right, oh yeah the meat, oops i almost forgot the CD, (pulling out of garage) dammit there's a piece of trash in the yard well i'm just gonna leave it, i'm already late, i could never be a maid, touching other people's trash grosses me out, hahaha a maid, i can't even keep my house clean never mind touching the trash, duh, (on the road) that meat isn't gonna be thawed out by tonight, crap! i forgot to check the dryer lint! did i close the garage door?, ok, come on in, i'm letting you in, come on, i know you are getting on so just do it, ok, forget it then, you lost your window, DAMMIT! motherfucker I KNEW IT fucking pay attention you fuckhead, this really is a great song, crap is that my phone? oh it's just a sound in the song, dude i think you can take your kerry/edwards sticker off your car now, man i'm tired, wait i think i only slept about 4 and a half hours last night no wonder, i have GOT to go to bed early tonight, oh god, what if obama doesn't win??, move grackle what are you doing?, wisconsin have i ever seen a wisconsin plate here, ugh i kind of have a headache, i closed the garage door right? i think i did.........................

But everyone does this, right? Or is it just me??? Do I need medication? Or just meditation? Maybe a vacation?